When Independence Isn’t a Choice

the word hustle written with a brush in cursive

People talk about independence like it’s always a choice, like you wake up one morning, toss your hair, and declare, “I’ve got this,” before marching off into the sunset with a perfect soundtrack playing in the background. For some, maybe it is. For me, living “as humanly independent as possible without additional support services” outside of immediate family isn’t some bold lifestyle experiment. It’s just… life.

There’s no backup plan waiting in the wings. No extra hands for the busy days, unless you count the one I already have, and let me tell you, she’s been overworked since birth. Her name’s Lefty, and she’s the employee of the month every month. She never takes a vacation, never calls in sick, and frankly, deserves her own parking spot and a raise. If something’s going to get done, it’s me, myself, and Lefty clocking in for another overtime shift.

This kind of independence isn’t glamorous. It’s not the “look at me” highlight reel people love to share online. It’s figuring out how to get dressed, carry coffee, and open doors all at the same time without pulling a muscle. It’s balancing life’s moving parts like a circus act, except the audience is just you and maybe the dog.

It’s showing up to commitments without knowing if the path will be smooth, bumpy, or require divine intervention. It’s celebrating the little victories like making it across the kitchen with coffee still in the cup because some days, that’s a championship moment worthy of its own medal. And yes, sometimes Lefty still lets the coffee hit the floor. But hey, she’s only human.

And yes, it can be tiring. Some days, Lefty is filing for hazard pay, and honestly, I’d sign her paperwork. But here’s the thing, independence born from necessity has its own kind of power. It’s proof that even without the additional support you wish you had, you can still build a life that’s not just surviving, but thriving. Although it could be a lot better, like Sheryl Crowe said, it’s not about having what you need, it’s wanting what you got. Just ask my friends.

For me, that strength is stitched together with grit, creativity, prayer, and the unshakable belief that God didn’t put me here without equipping me. It’s not about doing it perfectly. It’s about showing up, doing what I can, with what I have, and trusting that it’s enough, even when the coffee spills, the laundry basket rebels, or the day doesn’t go as planned.

So if you see me out here making things happen solo, just know: I didn’t choose this road, but I’m walking it, and occasionally tripping on it like a pro.